There’s been all this hubbub about the TSA and their “Would you like the naked irradiated pictures or the free gropes?” policy. So far I haven’t had the fun of going up against either. This disappoints me.
Yes, that’s right. I said “disappoints”. I’m looking forward to it! What’s wrong with me? Why, I wear a kilt of course! The options are endless!
“We’ve got an opt out here!!“… Oh, so you want to play that game?
“Oh, don’t be coy about it. I know you just want to see what’s worn under a kilt.” might get a blush, but I want to go with something more like ? “A kilt check? Sweet, haven’t had that done in a while. Usually I only let redheads in peasant outfits lift my kilt, but you look like a cute enough fella.”
I was really hoping that the last time I flew I’d get it. “Hey, I know I haven’t seen my wife in 2 months, thanks for helping me get warmed up!” might have been fun. In the game of “how to make a government employee blush” you really have to step up your game these days.
Actually the most fun would be just to go with “We’ve got a kilt check here!!“, but you do have to be careful calling too much attention over too wide an area. I think it’s better to make just one single agent a little nutty rather than go after the whole bunch.
So c’mon TSA. I’m flying out of SJC next Friday. Gird your loins for battle, ’cause laying your hands on mine is only gonna be fun for one of us!